Grandparent Prerogative | DanCommunity

Grandparent Prerogative

43 mins ago

Dear Parents,

It was the Sunday after my second child was born 7 weeks early. A well-meaning friend asked me if My Mom was heading to Jakarta that week. I told her I wished that she was, but I had asked my Mom to wait until I was home from the hospital. My friend said, Well, did your Mom tell you that its grandmas prerogative to come now if she wants? I smiled and said that I wanted to respect my Mom?s wishes.

The conversation bothered me, but I wasnt sure why.

The truth is there are no grandmas prerogatives. There are only mom and dads prerogatives. A grandparents job is to help and encourage, offering assistance within the lifestyle and routines of this new family.

I am blessed to have had my parents model balanced grandparenting for me. They have given much love, been available, but never once pulled the grandparent prerogative card. Anytime I leave my kids in their care, Ive never worried if they would follow my instructions.

Whether youre the grandparent or the parent, its important to know that grandmas prerogative doesnt exist. The parents call the shots on how their kids are to be cared for and treated (of course, grandma can also set her own boundaries, especially if shes being taken advantage of by the parents).

If youre the parent, stand firm on what you want for your family. If a grandparent doesnt respect your wishes, set boundaries in place to protect your desires for your family. Yes, you may make some people mad, but your loyalties are now to your new family, not your old family.

If youre the grandparent, check your expectations and remember that your job is to defer to mom and dads wisheseven if you dont agree with them.

The goal is to have a good relationship between mom and dad and grandma and grandpa. Understanding that grandparent prerogative doesnt exist is a start to making that relationship strong! Happy Grandparenting and ?. of course, Happy Parenting!

Love,

Novita Tandry
Educational Psychologist
Tumble Tots and Leaps & Bounds Indonesia

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Source: http://www.dancommunity.com/grandparent-prerogative/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=grandparent-prerogative

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Cop knowingly left his child in a hot car to die, say prosecutors

A cop is accused of leaving his baby girl in a hot car to die after killing the child's mother. "He was either going to talk her out of that paternity suit or he was going to kill her," said the prosecutor.

By Eric Tucker,?Associated Press / January 14, 2013

This DC cop left his child to die in a hot car, say prosecutors. Richmond Phillips, seen here in a 2011 file photo, is charged in the 2011 deaths of his mistress and their infant child. State's Attorney Angela Alsobrooks said during opening statements today that Phillips committed the crimes because he was involved in a paternity dispute with the woman and didn't want to pay child support.

Prince George?s County Police Department / AP / File

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A District of Columbia police officer embroiled in a paternity suit fatally shot his mistress before leaving their infant child to die in an overheated car, prosecutors said as the officer's murder trial opened Monday.

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Richmond Phillips committed the crimes because he was facing a paternity lawsuit and didn't want to pay child support for a baby girl he fathered out of wedlock, prosecutor Angela Alsobrooks told the jury in her opening statement. A defense lawyer countered that his client "didn't do this thing" and there wasn't evidence for a conviction.

Phillips was arrested in June 2011 after police located the bodies of 20-year-old Wynetta Wright and her daughter, Jaylin, in a park outside Washington. Prosecutors say Phillips shot Wright and then drove the child ? still strapped in the car seat of her mother's car with the doors closed and the windows up ? a short distance away, leaving her to die in stifling heat. The girl was just days shy of her first birthday.

When Phillips invited Wright to meet him at the park to try to work things out ahead of a scheduled court date, one of only two things was going to happen, Alsobrooks told the jury.

"He was either going to talk her out of that paternity suit or he was going to kill her," said Alsobrooks, the state's attorney in Prince George's County, Md.

Phillips is charged with first-degree murder, punishable by life in prison if convicted, along with other crimes. Surveillance video and phone records connect Phillips to the park where the killing occurred, DNA evidence links him to the murder, and he lied to investigators about his relationship with Wright, prosecutors say.

But defense lawyer Brian Denton said his client was innocent and that the case hinged on circumstantial evidence.

He said that although prosecutors have surveillance footage showing Phillips and Wright talking at Oxon Run Stream Valley Park, the video does not capture the moment when Wright was killed. He said the DNA evidence was unreliable and that many people, not just his client and Wright, would have had access to a park where cigarette butts, alcohol bottles and condoms are commonly found.

"They're suggesting that no one else would have been in that park on a warm summer night," Denton said of the authorities.

Phillips met Wright at a nightclub while off-duty and their relationship soon turned sexual. But Phillips, who was already married with another child, ended contact with her after learning that she was pregnant, the jury heard. Wright served Phillips with a paternity suit early in 2011 and a subsequent test confirmed that he was the father of her child.

The two got back in touch as Phillips faced the prospect of a paternity test. He invited Wright to meet her at the park on the eve of a scheduled court date in their paternity case, and Wright was excited to bring Jaylin so that she could see her father, Alsobrooks said.

The two spoke for hours, but the encounter turned deadly when Phillips shot Wright and moved her vehicle with the child still inside. A heat advisory was in effect at the time, and temperatures inside the car reached 125 degrees, Alsobrooks added.

"He allowed her to essentially cook in that car, hoping and praying that she would never be found," said the prosecutor, referring to Phillips as a "deceptive, double-sided man."

The first witness, Wright's cousin, Donna Leggett, testified that she had helped Wright with the baby's care and that she suggested that Wright approach Phillips about providing his share of financial support.

"I told her she (needed) to stop stressing and take the father up for child support," she said.

The courtroom in Prince George's County Circuit Court was crowded with Wright's family and supporters, many of whom dabbed their eyes and wept quietly.

Phillips, who was assigned to a vice squad, has been suspended without pay pending the outcome of the case, police said.

Source: http://rss.csmonitor.com/~r/feeds/csm/~3/SsXzBuJLWtE/Cop-knowingly-left-his-child-in-a-hot-car-to-die-say-prosecutors

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U. S. Federal Safe Routes to School program reduces child injuries by more than 40 percent in New York City

Jan. 14, 2013 ? The national Safe Routes to School (SRTS) program was funded by Congress in 2005 in an effort to create safe environments for American children to walk or bike to school. Has the program been effective? In New York City, most definitely, according to a new study conducted at Columbia University's Mailman School of Public Health that evaluated the program here. Researchers found that the annual rate of injury to school-age pedestrians ages 5-19 fell 44% during the peak times for walking to school, in neighborhoods where the program was implemented. Significantly, the injury rate did not drop in parts of the city where the SRTS safety program was not in place.

Findings of the report are published online in Pediatrics.

The researchers analyzed motor vehicle crash data for 169,000 pedestrian injuries between 2001 and 2010 for different age groups and neighborhoods with and without SRTS interventions to assess the program's effectiveness.

Interventions for reducing pedestrian injury included new traffic and pedestrian signals, the addition of exclusive pedestrian crossing times, speed bumps, speed boards, high-visibility crosswalks, and new parking regulations. More than 120 NYC schools were selected by the NYC Department of Transportation for the interventions because they had the highest rates of pedestrian injury.

The researchers created a school-travel time indicator variable to further identify crashes that occurred during days and hours when school-aged children would be traveling to or from school. This time period was defined as 7 AM to 9 AM or 2 PM to 4 PM, Monday through Friday between September and June.

"Our data show that interventions to make the built environment safer can greatly reduce injuries to children as they walk to school," says the lead author of the study, Charles DiMaggio, PhD, associate professor of Epidemiology and research director of the Center for Injury Epidemiology and Prevention at Columbia.

The Safe Routes to School program was funded through 2012, and is now in place in all 50 states at approximately 10% of elementary and secondary schools. Under the current federal transportation bill, MAP-21, the Safe Routes program will no longer have dedicated funding. It is now one of a number of possible programs eligible for funding based on state and local priorities, making it "even more important to evaluate and demonstrate the effectiveness of programs like Safe Routes to School," according to Dr. DiMaggio.

"Our study provides compelling empirical evidence that is essential to guiding policy makers," says senior author Guohua Li, MD, DrPH, Mailman School professor of Epidemiology and Anesthesiology and director of the Center for Injury Epidemiology and Prevention. "It indicates that the Safe Routes to School program has made a marked difference in improving the safety of school-age children in New York City."

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Story Source:

The above story is reprinted from materials provided by Columbia University's Mailman School of Public Health, via EurekAlert!, a service of AAAS.

Note: Materials may be edited for content and length. For further information, please contact the source cited above.


Journal Reference:

  1. Charles DiMaggio and Guohua Li. Effectiveness of a Safe Routes to School Program in Preventing School-Aged Pedestrian Injury. Pediatrics, January 14, 2013 DOI: 10.1542/peds.2012-2182

Note: If no author is given, the source is cited instead.

Disclaimer: Views expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect those of ScienceDaily or its staff.

Source: http://feeds.sciencedaily.com/~r/sciencedaily/living_well/~3/kC2nhhaeo64/130114092702.htm

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Holistic ? Part 3 :: Nashville Personal Trainer - Life Fitness Academy

The breakdown of how fitness should be.

Over the years, my experience as a personal trainer has brought about many challenges that have given me the practical knowledge of the sometimes-fragile human body. One of the repetitive issues that come through this gym is injury. Injuries plague us as individuals, more so when fitness isn?t a part of your life. The case could also be made for the same frequency of injuries in the fit clients. When trying to approach the body holistically with my clients, I have let these years of experience educate me into prevention. Instead of waiting for the new client to come in with their exercise prescriptions, which they were given from the physical therapist, we integrate fitness that is in itself, physical therapy. This is how we define prevention and further more, holistic personal training.

I know that it?s hard to understand at first?so I will give you a day in the life?as I plan a workout for a healthy, pain-free client.

First session:
*10-15 minutes of discussion and relationship building. This time helps us form realistic goals and assess fitness levels.
*5-7 minute warm up. During this time we listen and learn from the conversation as a client warms up walking, rowing, or pedaling on a bike. You can hear a lot about a person with just a little bit of conversation while they are under a bit of stress physically.

Fitness assessment:
Now we put the rubber to the road if you will. This assessment is usually done using body weight or plyometric activity, lightly testing the limits of an individual. Whether strong or weak, the client suddenly starts to remember things that they forgot to tell you initially. Maybe it?s tennis elbow or a car accident that has left them less than confident in their ability to hold a wall sit for 1 minute. Take notes and apply them to the workout plan.

What I want you to see here is our diligence in learning your body. This process is essential and each Life Fitness Academy trainer does it slightly different, but very well. I will always start a client in isometrics, whether just for learning?s sake or for healing it?s a foundational set of exercises. Having the client learn these exercises will assist me in teaching them how to correctly engage the muscles moving forward into muscle building. This training graduates into resistance training, keying in on strength through stability and supportive-connective tissue. Now we have a strong foundation?right down to bone density that we didn?t have before! This foundation will allow us to move forward into using our bodies for resistance better known as body weight training-plyometric exercises. From here we graduate into some weight-lifting (if desired by the client).

Applying these tricks with the other parts of our holistic approach to the body through the business model we have set up IS what makes us different.

Other posts in the series:
Holistic ? Part 1
Holistic ? Part 2

Source: http://www.lifefitness-academy.com/2013/01/14/holistic-part-3/

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'Incredible chaos': Punches thrown, furniture smashed as baby ...

By Daniel Arkin, Staff Writer, NBC News

Three men and a 14-year-old boy have been arrested in connection with a chaotic brawl at a Massachusetts baby shower on Saturday.

Punches were thrown and furniture was smashed during the violent clash at Club Luis De Camoes, a Portuguese social venue in Stoughton, south of Boston, police said.

"It was quite a scene," Stoughton Police Department Executive Officer Robert Devine told NBC News. "It was just incredible chaos."

Police have arrested three men -- Patrick Lopez, 24; Paulo Depina, 24; Aderito Deandrade, 24 -- and an unidentified 14-year-old boy in connection with the incident.?. They are each charged with disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, assault and battery on a police officer, and other offenses.

Four police officers who responded to the scene sustained minor injuries, Devine said. They did not require hospital treatment, he added.

Police said they believe the brawl began when one of the suspects standing near the bar punched a man in the back of the head and flung a bottle in the air, nearly striking the bartender. Others then joined in the fight.

Watch US News crime videos on NBCNews.com

At that point, a Stoughton police officer working detail at the event called for backup, anticipating more attacks. When the first wave of five backup cops arrived at the scene, the melee was in full tilt at the club, which was filled with over 200 people, FOX 25 in Boston reported.

"Oh my God. It was just nonstop. There would be a skirmish in this corner, we?d go over to address it, and then another one would start up somewhere else," Sgt. Daniel McGowan?told The Enterprise?newspaper.

One of the suspects allegedly crushed a chair and hurled bottles in the air, police said. As the brawl got more heated, at least 15 additional officers rushed to the baby shower.

All the while, police worried that one of the many children at the scene would get injured.

"Our primary concern as police officers was to try to safeguard children in the room," Devine said.

At the height of the chaos, one of the police officers stood on top of a table and pleaded with parents to evacuate with their children, Devine said.

It took police almost 45 minutes to subdue the crowd, according to police.?

?

Source: http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/01/14/16507588-incredible-chaos-punches-thrown-furniture-smashed-as-baby-shower-turns-into-brawl

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Vote for the best Golden Globes red carpet look

John Shearer / AP

From Anne Hathaway to Jennifer Lawrence, the red carpet's most glamorous and fashion-forward celebrities.

From sophisticated metallic gowns to a whole lotta leg, celebrities brought some unexpected style to the Golden Globes red carpet.

Nicole Kidman wore a sexy cut-out gown, Anne Hathaway looked polished in white, and Lucy Liu got festive in a floral gown.

Which star had the best look? Check out our slideshow and cast your vote.

Who had the best red carpet style?

More from TODAY:
Heavy metal: Shimmer and shine on the Globes red carpet
Red rules for Golden Globes fashion

Look back: Nicole Kidman's glamorous red carpet history

Anne Hathaway

?

21.7%

(1,258 votes)

Kate Hudson

?

16.8%

(973 votes)

Jennifer Lawrence

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15.2%

(880 votes)

Jessica Alba

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11%

(639 votes)

Lucy Liu

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6.5%

(379 votes)

Michelle Dockery

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6.4%

(373 votes)

Nicole Kidman

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4.8%

(277 votes)

Emily Blunt

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4.3%

(248 votes)

Jennifer Lopez

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4%

(231 votes)

Katharine McPhee

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2.6%

(153 votes)

Julianne Moore

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2.3%

(136 votes)

Amy Adams

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1.6%

(93 votes)

Tina Fey

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1.3%

(78 votes)

Kelly Osbourne

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0.7%

(43 votes)

Jessica Chastain

?

0.7%

(41 votes)

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Source: http://thelook.today.com/_news/2013/01/13/16497392-vote-for-the-best-golden-globes-red-carpet-look?lite

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White House opts not to create a Death Star. But a ?magic coin??

A number of fanciful ideas on economic policy have been floated in recent weeks. The so-called Death Star idea, officially rejected, was a stimulus plan. The 'magic coin' plot is meant to sidestep a showdown with Congress over the national debt ceiling. Seriously?

By Mark Trumbull,?Staff writer / January 12, 2013

President Barack Obama speaks to workers about the economy during a visit to Daimler Detroit Diesel in Redford, Mich., Dec. 10. The scene playing out on Capitol Hill is a familiar one as lawmakers with competing ideologies wage an 11th-hour battle to avert a debt-ceiling crisis.

Paul Sancya/AP

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This much is now official: The Obama administration won?t get behind the idea of building a Death Star ?space-superiority platform? to create jobs and strengthen national defense.?That idea sprang up as an online petition to the White House two months ago, gathering sizable support, presumably coming in good measure from fans of a certain movie series.

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The president?s policy troopers came back with a response that included playful humor ("This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For") but also budgetary realism. (A Death Star would be costly, and ?we're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.?)

But building a ?Star Wars? platform for space-based weaponry isn?t the only fanciful economic policy idea that?s been floated in recent weeks. Another one that?s garnered attention in recent days has to do with another round object, a simple coin. Specifically, the notion is that the US Treasury could avert the next partisan stalemate on fiscal policy by issuing a $1 trillion platinum coin, and depositing it at the Federal Reserve.

It?d be a stealth way to sidestep confrontation over whether Congress should raise the official debt limit, so that the Treasury could borrow money to pay the nation?s bills. Many Republicans would like to use the debt-ceiling issue as leverage in pushing for reductions in federal spending.

This ?magic coin? idea, like the Death Star one, has thousands of supporters behind it as an online petition on the White House?s ?We the People? petition venue.

?We would avert the absurd-yet-imminent debt ceiling faceoff in Congress in two quick and simple steps!? the petition states. ?While this may seem like an unnecessarily extreme measure, it is no more absurd than playing political football with the US ? and global ? economy at stake.?

The $1 trillion coin could in theory give the Treasury fiscal breathing room.?Rather than wait for Congress to approve more borrowing ? and see the nation effectively default on its debt if Congress fails to do so quickly ? the administration would employ the coin as a kind of bank account with the Federal Reserve against which the Treasury could draw.

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Source: http://rss.csmonitor.com/~r/feeds/csm/~3/oovM8Mbp5Kk/White-House-opts-not-to-create-a-Death-Star.-But-a-magic-coin

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Jamieson leads by 5 shots in South Africa

Scott Jamieson of Scotland had a 4-under 68 and took a five-shot lead in the Volvo Champions, while Louis Oosthuizen faded in the third round at Durban Country Club on Saturday.

Jamieson began the day a stroke behind the former British Open champion, but finished with a 15-under total to lead Oosthuizen (74), Thongchai Jaidee of Thailand (73) and Julien Quesne of France (67).

Padraig Harrington (67) and Francesco Molinari (68) were another two strokes back in the event for European Tour winners.

Jamieson won his first European Tour title a month ago in the season-opening Nelson Mandela Championship. Now he's one round away from earning the "Durban Double.

"It's been another great day. While I didn't play as well as I did the first two days, especially yesterday from tee to green, I managed to score well, which is the main thing," Jamieson said. "So I'm delighted to be in the position I'm in.

"The experience of winning the Nelson Mandela in a playoff under the extreme pressure with a first European Tour title on the line gave me a lot of confidence that I've taken into this week."

Jamieson had an eagle on the par-5 eighth hole after landing the ball 5 feet from the hole with a 5-iron for 198 yards. He also birdied three straight holes from the 11th.

For three days, Jamieson has competed against some of the bigger names in golf.

He played the first round with Harrington and finished a shot ahead of the Irishman. On day two, he was six shots better than Thomas Bjorn, and was six strokes better Saturday than crowd favorite Oosthuizen, who had four bogeys on the front nine.

"You always have your eye out, comparing yourself to them," Jamieson said. "But yeah, I managed to beat them through the week, so that was nice."

Source: http://www.miamiherald.com/2013/01/12/3179304/jamieson-leads-by-5-after-3-rounds.html

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State of the Union Intrudes on Mardi Gras Revelry

Bad news for revelers wanting to cut loose before the beginning of Lent: Speaker John A. Boehner has invited President Barack Obama to deliver his State of the Union address on Feb. 12. That happens to be Mardi Gras, or Fat Tuesday.

?Oh, my,? said one bummed-sounding staffer for a Louisiana House member.

Calls to several offices of Louisiana?s congressional delegation went out. Boehner?s invitation was sent Friday morning and, at least for the offices we called, the ramifications hadn?t sunk in yet. ?Not yet,? said a staffer for Democratic Rep. Cedric L. Richmond, who represents New Orleans. Noting that it was kind of a slow Friday, she promised to try to run down a reaction.

Ditto for the office of Democratic Sen. Mary L. Landrieu, whose family hails from the Crescent City.

We?ll update this as we get reaction, but Obama could help spice up his speech and make amends to Pelican State lawmakers if he threw beads from the podium.

Still, there is one silver lining: the Louisiana Society of D.C.?s Washington Mardi Gras 2013 Ball is scheduled for Feb. 2 at the Washington Hilton, so Washingtonians can attend that without having to ditch the SOTU. But even that posed a conflict for New Orleanians because it conflicts with the Super Bowl, which is being held in New Orleans on Feb. 3. That decision was described last year by New Orleans Times-Picayune columnist Jonathan Tilove as an ?epic scheduling conflict.?

Source: http://hoh.rollcall.com/state-of-the-union-intrudes-on-mardi-gras-revelry/

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